Tough Times

Sorry it has been a while since I updated you on my dad. In the last 2-3 weeks, he has allowed hospice to come into his house and that has been a major help to him and to Karin. He also had a feeding tube placed which has relieved much of the anxiety and difficulty with eating enough to maintain calories or a decent energy level. I received a call tonight that he was not very responsive and was heading to the ER by ambulance. I’m not sure if this is too much pain medicine on board or something worse, playing the waiting game. He lucidly told me that he did not want to die in a hospital. He said he would rather be sitting in the front yard in a lawn chair ( I have tears in my eyes as I write this, hoping that remains a possibility). My prayer is that he truly know Christ in his heart and that he will get to know his grandsons one day. His father passed away when I was too young to really remember him and I hate it that this will be the same for them. I feel awful being selfish at a time like this, but I hope to live long enough to know my grandchildren. It is hard when I think of all the things that he will miss, I cannot write them out, still too close